WHEN I POST SOMETHING CLEVER AND CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HOW FANS/FOLLOWERS RESPOND.
what I want to do:
What I really do:
WHEN SOMEONE REPOSTS SOMETHING OF MINE AND DOESN’T GIVE ME CREDIT.
on the inside:
What I try to look like:
What I really look like:
when he’s hot:
when he’s ugly:
Season 3, Episode 19: “The Shower”
Cliff has been banished from Denise’s friend’s bridal shower and he is very upset. But at least he looks good! His comb sweater is amazing!
WHEN A CUSTOMER IS CONVINCED THEY’RE GOING TO RUIN OUR BRAND REPUTATION WITH THEIR MISSPELLED WALL POST.
wilwheaton: The Anatomy of a Wasp. (via Reddit)
To the families of the dead wasps that invaded my apartment all of last August: I will destroy you.

After reading the above tweet, my mom emails:
“Okay explain your tweet about your WTF day. Looked up Smalls and found that refers to undergarments. Then looked up YOLO and find that means you obviously lack originality, but I still don’t understand.
Please don’t hate me because I am a senior citizen.
Did you see the story that the older girl on Modern Family got a kidney transplant?
Peace and Love,
Susie”
*Subject line of email was “Trying to remain hip in the 21st century is tough.” Indeed.
Mrs. Middleton would like to wish all the mother’s out there a Happy Mother’s Day. No, really. Good for you.
On marriage equality and symbiotic evolution.